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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134597">When I am swallowed by the darkness, will you come and anchor me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyjasper99/pseuds/tonyjasper99'>tonyjasper99</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Night In The Woods (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bipolar Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:55:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyjasper99/pseuds/tonyjasper99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'Maybe he would be better without me', Gregg thought.</p>
<p>------------------------</p>
<p>Gregg questions whether or not he is a good person for Angus.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angus Delaney/Greggory Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I am swallowed by the darkness, will you come and anchor me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have Bipolar 1 and relate a lot to Gregg. Because of my bipolar I have a lot of problems with thinking if I am a good person for my friends and loved ones, which we also see Gregg struggle with in the game and I wanted to write a scene based around that.</p>
<p>There is some self harm and references to past child abuse so please be careful if those are triggering subjects!</p>
<p>Title from "Anchor Me" by The Tenors</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gregg was in the bathroom, bandaging his hand after his knife fight with Mae, when he heard Angus walk through the front door. “Welcome home, Cap’n!” Gregg yelled at his boyfriend while tearing off the gauze. </p>
<p>He walked out to the kitchen to see Angus placing a box of pizza from the Clik Clak Diner on the table. “Ooo, looks good. Thanks for grabbing dinner,” he said, reaching up to give Angus a kiss. “How was work?”</p>
<p>“It was alright. Slow day.” Angus looked down and saw the bandages and gently held Gregg’s hand. “What happened? Did you get into another fight?” Gregg hears the concern in Angus’ voice, but he can’t help but notice that there’s also a hint of disappointment. </p>
<p>“Kind of? Went to the forest and had a knife fight with Mae. She totally kicked my ass though, hence the wrappings,” he said, holding up his hands.</p>
<p>“Right,” Angus said, gently releasing his hand. Gregg knew he was disappointed with him. They planned on moving to Bright Harbor, but Angus was afraid Gregg would get arrested which would mess with their plans. Gregg also knew that Angus thought that Mae being back would cause Gregg to be more reckless and commit more “crimes,” and maybe he was right.</p>
<p>After eating dinner, Angus and Gregg got ready for bed. Angus was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth in front of the water stained mirror. On the lower right corner was a peeling sticker of a cat, left over by the tenants before them.</p>
<p>Gregg stood in the doorway, wearing a white, sleeveless undershirt, watching Agnus. As he stood there, all he could think about was how much he loved him. How he wishes he could give him everything he ever wanted. How he deserved the world.</p>
<p>When Angus was done brushing his teeth, he walked over to Gregg, lifted him up, and tossed him onto the bed. They got under their sheets and gave each other a goodnight kiss, and then turned over to face separate ways. Between the sheet and their body heat, it wasn’t reasonable to sleep cuddling each other.</p>
<p>Angus was the first one to fall asleep; Gregg knew because Angus was snoring loudly next to him. Angus usually was the first to fall asleep, and Gregg hoped it was due to having a more peaceful mind than his. He would spend hours at a time just laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, listening to Angus snoring while he slept soundly. </p>
<p><em> I hope he’s having a good dream, </em> Gregg thought, gently rolling on his side so he could face his boyfriend. He studied his face, looking for any signs of distress and found none and gave a slight smile. <em> He deserves all the good in the world.  </em></p>
<p>Angus hadn’t had the best life, and he deserved much better than what he had. Growing up, his father would routinely beat him. It would be over the stupidest things such as leaving a cup on the table or getting a bad grade on or a test or sometimes for no reason at all. His mother was worse though. She would shove him into the pantry and slam the doors so hard that stuff would fall onto him, locking him in there, sometimes overnight. Other times she would withhold feeding him.</p>
<p>He is doing better now that he lives with Gregg though. However, things still aren’t great. Possum Springs isn’t the ideal place to live. It’s a small town that reminds Angus of his childhood and it’s not always fun being some of the only LGBT people in town. Angus works nearly everyday at a shitty job at a video store, trying to make money so he and Gregg can save up enough money and move out to a better place. </p>
<p><em> Maybe he would be better without me, </em> Gregg thought. He had talked to Mae about it earlier in the woods, saying he thought he was a bad person, but he didn’t think she understood. Angus deserved <em> the world </em> and Gregg couldn’t give that to him. He was just parking lot trash with no future. He worked at the Snack Falcon and constantly would leave, he had no impulse control, and he would always get into trouble. He knew Angus was worried about him and his crimes landing him and jail yet he still didn’t stop. Angus deserved better than him. He deserves someone who could actually make him happy and that he wouldn’t have to worry about. Who would help work to achieve the future they wanted instead of doing stuff that could deter their plans.</p>
<p>Gregg started to feel his chest start tightening so he got up as quietly as he could and snuck into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, and sank to the floor. He wrapped his arms around him and he just kept thinking about all the things Angus could do without him. </p>
<p>Angus was so smart, he could probably get any job he wanted. He could develop video games, he could be an engineer, a hacker, or even a software developer. Gregg was just holding him back. He was a nobody. He was never going to amount to anything. He was nothing without Angus. He was what kept him grounded. </p>
<p>Gregg could feel the hot tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, and he dug his claws into his shoulders, refusing to let them fall. He wasn’t going to cry, he wasn’t. He was strong. He could feel the claws puncturing his flesh and he didn’t care. He let the blood roll down his fur, it’s what he deserved. Bad people deserve to be hurt.</p>
<p>Suddenly, he felt something gentle but firm, wrap around his shoulders, and pull him in tight. He opened his eyes to see Angus sitting on the floor next to him, not saying anything, and not judging, just looking concerned.</p>
<p>Gregg opened his mouth to respond but he couldn’t find the words. “I- I-” he tried, but it was no use, he didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” was all he could choke out before he started sobbing, leaning his head against Angus’ chest while Angus held onto him, rubbing his back softly and coaxing him into releasing his grip on his shoulders.</p>
<p>Gregg didn’t know how long they were on the floor, but Angus made sure not to let Gregg go until he was done crying. When Gregg was in a state to move again, Angus helped him up off the floor and led him to sit on the toilet seat so he could clean up his wounds. </p>
<p>A few moments went by before Angus broke the silence asking, “are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Gregg responded silently. It wasn’t a lie, he was doing better now that Angus was there, just sometimes his thoughts get carried away and he can’t control them.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Angus questioned as he wrapped Gregg’s left arm in gauze. “Might help you feel better.”</p>
<p>Gregg sighed and looked away. “I just, I feel like I might not be good for you. Like you deserve better. And you can do better. And one day you will see that I am just a bad person and you will move on.”</p>
<p>Angus hummed as he finished wrapping up Gregg’s other arm and went to put the gauze away. “Well,” he said as he closed the box, “you don’t have to worry about that. Yes there are times where you make me anxious with your crimes and the things you do, but I still love you, and I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else. You are the only one I need.” </p>
<p>As Angus said that, he lifted Gregg’s chin so he could look him in the eye. “We will be alright.” Gregg started to tear up and Angus gently brushed away his tears before helping him up and leading him back to the bed. Angus turned on the fan and they crawled back into bed, and curled up next to each other. </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Cap’n, I love you.”</p>
<p>“Love you too, Bug.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm on Twitter at @TonyJasper99 and Tumblr at tonyjasper99!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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